Self Love
Love, Loyalty and Friendship, an Irish wedding ring.
A long-time client and friend of mine wears this ring. I’d never seen or heard of it until I met her 20+ years ago. She said that when the heart on the ring is facing outward towards other people, it means you’re single and open to a relationship. But when the heart is facing inward, it means you are taken, not available. This very dear person is not married, but ever since I have known her, she wears her ring facing in – because she is committed to herself with love, loyalty, and friendship.
What a new concept that was to me, years ago.
It was a variation of healthy boundaries, before I really knew what the concept of healthy boundaries was.
I suppose it’s possible she used this concept, and visual symbol of her ring, as a form of self protection, while she did her own self healing and establishing of her independence and safety in life. Perhaps it was a preference of lifestyle for the short- or long-term; or a building of knowing how to honor herself. Maybe it was just an effective way of knowing good and well where that line of where she ended and the world began was; Where the world stopped, and she moved – and a way of showing the world where those lines were as well.
I didn’t know just what her purpose was for having a strong and loving commitment to herself in this way, it wasn’t mine to pry about or figure out. I just observed and held this inspiring detail of her, grateful that she shared with me the meaning behind her ring.
In my career, I am blessed with getting to see a variety of different ‘walks of life’ amongst the people of my clientele – on a personal level especially. Everyone has something special and unique to enjoy about them. People come in for massage to release what ails them, so their inner beauty can shine through a bit stronger. (To define it in my own words. 😉 ) Catching a glimpse – or sometimes a full-color spectrum picture! – of their inner beauty when the layers of stress have melted away, is perhaps my very favorite part of massage.
You know, by healing ourselves, we help others around us to heal themselves as well. By having healthy boundaries and upholding them, we teach others in our lives not only where our boundaries are and how to have relationship with us, but we also inspire them to find their own boundaries.
Defining and upholding these healthy boundaries isn’t just about finding a way to interact safely and effectively with others, though, it’s also a way of interaction with ourselves.
Committing to loving and honoring yourself as a valuable, cherished friend, is a pathway to healing – and to learning to trust and have confidence in your own reliability – to yourself. Knowing you can count on your own word and promise to yourself.
Sometimes self-love means spending that extra money or time on something that brings you joy, or soothes your aching heart in ways that others can’t fulfill or aren’t available for – so you fullfill it yourself. Sometimes self-love means keeping a challenging, not-so-fun commitment to yourself (like going to the gym when you’d rather not, calming your own anxieties and speaking kindly to yourself or paying off a debt rather than spending freely)… holding integrity; making your own word and code of conduct to yourself as reliable as gravity. Figuring out what your values are and who you want to be, and then honoring it in all your actions and thoughts. Holding yourself accountable, to yourself… Making yourself not just reliable for other people, but reliable to yourself.
When one can be secure in their own love and kindness, as well as in their own respect and integrity, then loving and trusting others becomes a less ‘risky’ venture….
Self-love; Healthy Boundaries; Healing… It’s all a life-long journey, ever evolving. 💖 Can’t wait to see how this deep thought evolves in another 20 years. 😉 Thanks for reading.
To everyone that graces my massage table, and other aspects of my life, thank you for sharing the journey. 💝 ~ Christine